Carly Miller’s Marathon Swim Story

It’s that time of year where things feel a bit too busy. And to top it off, my assistant that’s been helping me with processing and producing and pushing marathon swim stories out to the world graduated and moved on. I tell you this twofold. One: If you’re interested in helping me to produce marathon swim stories, please let me know! Shannon@intrepidwater.com. I’d love to hear from you. Otherwise, if you notice that episodes aren’t coming out as regularly, it’s because… it’s a lot. So bear with me. I have one more episode in the hopper after today’s episode, and then I’ll be taking some time to take stock. Do some internal work, but I will be back. I look forward to scheduling some new interviews in 2022 and continuing to connect us marathon swimmers all over the world.

I love hearing from you. So don’t hesitate to reach out anytime. I love your feedback, your suggestions, all of it. For today’s episode, it was quite a while ago that Carly Miller reached out to me looking to share her story. And I’m so glad that we finally connected and that I get to share her story with you today.

I hope you enjoy Carly’s story. Happy holidays.

In her own words:

Carly Miller is a marathon swimmer and swim coach living in Los Angeles, California. Carly started open water swimming in 2016; it was soon after that time that she transitioned careers into swim coaching and instruction. Though open water has been a recent development in her life, swimming was her first love and she grew up in the pool. 

In 2020, Carly became the 18th person to achieve the California Triple Crown of Open Water (Anacapa, Catalina Channel, Lake Tahoe Length), a feat which she dedicated to her mother Emily. Carly has used all of her swims to fundraise for the non-profit FORCE, which supports families facing hereditary cancer. In 2021, Carly became only the 6th person to swim the 27-mile width of Santa Monica Bay from Point Dume in Malibu to Rocky Point in Palos Verdes (pending ratification by Marathon Swimmers Federation). 

Fundraising Link: https://teamforce.facingourrisk.org/Carly2021 

Long Swims Database: https://longswims.com/p/carly-miller/ 

Email & Coaching Inquiries: cfmiller8@gmail.com 

Instagram: @cfmiller8

Full Transcript:

0:21
Hello and welcome to the 134th episode of Marathon swim stories, where we explore the human side, of the superhuman feats of endurance runners, and those who support them. I’m marathon swimmer and coach Shannon Keegan.

It’s that time of year where things feel a bit too busy. And to top it off, my assistant that’s been helping me with processing and producing and pushing marathon swim stories out to the world. graduated and moved on. I tell you this twofold. One. If you’re interested in helping me to produce marathon swim stories, please let me know Shannon@intrepidwater.com I’d love to hear from you. Otherwise, if you notice that episodes aren’t coming out as regularly, it’s because it’s a lot. So bear with me. I have one more episode in the hopper after today’s episode, and then I’ll begin to take some time to take stock. Do some internal work, but I will be back. Look forward to scheduling some new interviews in 2022 and continuing to connect marathon swimmers all over the world. I love hearing from you. So don’t hesitate to reach out anytime. I love your feedback, your suggestions all of it.

For today’s episode, it was quite a while ago that Carly Miller reached out to me looking to share her story. And I’m so glad that we finally connected and that I get to share her story with you today. I hope you enjoy Carly’s story. Happy holidays. Yeah, totally. Tell me what’s your story just in case you missed that part.

2:37
So um, yeah, I I pretty much live with my dad for the first nine years of my life and he my mom’s like swam with when she was pregnant with me and my dad, like sometime in his adult not as a child, but sometime in his young adulthood got into like just swimming laps. And I think like once I was a toddler, he was just like, I want to go to the pool and swim laps. So in order to do that, like she needs to learn how to swim and you know, I’m, I have a lot of pictures of me as a baby and as a toddler like with my dad in the water and you know, that’s a lot of my memories. From childhood have to do with water and cool. The ocean but yeah, so I would say by the time I was like four, he had me swimming competitively like I was on like the JCC team. We lived in New Jersey. And I mean, I remember like competing in like 20 fives, you know? Yeah, and I really wanted to like even at that age, I remember like, there was like qualifying for like, you know, states and stuff and I was never even at that age. It was almost like I recognized that I was an okay swimmer, but like, I wasn’t the best I was never going to be the fastest IV I remember even at that age that there was this girl who was faster than me and you know, she would always be faster than me. So yeah, I was on like a JCC team and then I don’t really I don’t know like remember so much of like, the ages between like six to nine. But then when I was nine I moved to live with my mom and I joined a YMCA team, like swimming was definitely like my thing. Growing up my dad also got me involved in like baseball, softball, whatever. And I continue to do that as well but like swimming was my thing. I just loved it. So yeah, when I got to Connecticut, I joined this YMCA team and it was pretty serious. I mean, we we weren’t like practicing twice a day, but you know, we practice every day and I just it was like swimming. The pool was always the place where I could like let all my shit go. And I had a lot of stuff in my head even as a kid. And yeah, like, continued with the YMCA team until I got to high school and then join the high school team and I went to when I went to live with my mom I live in this small town in Connecticut called Torrington and then all the high school didn’t have a pool we practice at the why. And it was weird but the this random town in the northwest corner of Connecticut that was super non diverse and weird. Happened to have like a couple families that had really good swimmers. And so like the YMCA team and the high school teams were pretty good because there was you know, a bunch of kids that were just really good swimmers that have good coaches, era of the YMCA team coach, not that great of a coach. My high school coach was like a huge influence in my life like still he was probably the most influential adult in my life besides anyone in my family. And in high school. Like again, I was not the fastest swimmer. It was clear that I was not going to be you know the fastest swimmer, but I worked really hard and he noticed that my high school coach his name was no poor he was like an administrator at the school. His daughter was in my class in school. And yeah, I just think from pretty much like day one he recognized that I was like a really hard worker and that impressed him. Like the fact that I could just, you know, because I don’t know if a lot of people just don’t have that work ethic. I mean, now that I’m a coach, I see that a lot of people just don’t have that work ethic. Work ethic is rare. Um and a lot of the kids that are really good swimmers don’t need to have that work ethic because they’re just really, really talented. Yeah. Some of them do.

7:19
For sure. You know, I remember like the best swimmer on the team. Like when we before I had my license like she used to pick me up we would go to practice before school there was only like five kids that did that. I only did it for a year because I was like just so exhausted. I didn’t like I would get to school and like not be able to function. Um, but yeah, it was really my high school coach. I think that had like a huge influence on my life. I went through a lot personally during that time, like my mom got diagnosed with cancer and like while I was in high school, there was some really hard like months and years and swimming was the thing that got me through it was like I just kind of let everything out when I was in the water and maybe that’s why I worked so hard. I don’t it was like the more pain that you’re in in the water. Like, the more the pain in here, just kind of like get out of your head. Yeah. And so like, yeah, in high school, it was more like setting goals for myself and to break certain, you know, time barriers that you know, and it’s like you never I never I always felt like a second shore. You know, or like a little bit short of where I wanted to be. But, um, I was just, I really enjoyed my high school swimming experience. And my coach. You know, I reached out to him a couple years ago and we’re in touch again now and yeah, like I said, I think he was probably the biggest influence in my life at that time. As an adult aside from people in my family. And then yeah, after high school, I was totally burned out. Like I went to school at the University of Vermont. I didn’t really think I was good enough swimmer to swim in college. Nor did I I was burnt out like I wanted to have a life and I knew that, you know that if you swim, you don’t have a life. There would be no right life.

9:28
Right? Yeah. Yeah. And I think for me when I hit like after high school, it’s like I knew I wasn’t going to the Olympics. And that was like the only Ender’s Game that I knew for swimming. So I was like, Okay, well, I’m going to go into life now. I didn’t know that there was other things you could do with your swimming skills.

9:45
Yeah, I mean, that was another thing like I thought my life in swimming was over. Right now. And for a long time, it was like I probably was out of the water for like 15 to 17 years where I would, you know, go to a pool once in a while and do some laps but like it wasn’t anything regular and I don’t know, I guess I was busy doing other things. I didn’t really feel that void in my life. Um, but, you know, my mom ended up passing away in 2005 And after that, I went into a you know, bad space mentally, you know, I was just super depressed and yeah, on like a cocktail of prescribed psychiatric medicine that, you know, was sort of, I was like, not a human being. I was like, not functioning. I didn’t have a job. I couldn’t socialize. Like, I was pretty much on the couch. You know, watching TV all day, like not functioning, not like a human functioning in society. Yeah. And then I would say that after my, my, my husband and I have been have been together since 2001. We we met here in California. We didn’t get married until like 2013 or 14. We were just, we’re comfortable. Not they didn’t think we would. I never thought we’d get married but then it’s like okay, go well for tax purposes. Other things, but like after we actually got married I decided I love this man so much and I’m not gonna let him live with me like this for the rest of my life. So I quit all my psych meds cold turkey. And,

11:42
and that’s so 2005 to 2013 You’re on psych meds on the couch? Not really

11:49
well, maybe like 2009 to 2000 because there was a while where I was functioning like half like I had a job and I feel like 2009 but then yeah, I would say 2009 to 2014 15. Like, totally out of life. And then like I quit all my meds cold turkey and it took like, I mean, I don’t I don’t recommend that to anyone. It was just what I did and what I needed to do

12:20
to know or how did you like I kind of I can only imagine being in that state, but like, how do you kind of break this cycle? Like how did you know like, I just got to get off these meds.

12:30
Well, I wasn’t a functioning human society. I had no I wasn’t happy. It’s not like the meds were helping me control my depression and anxiety and I was like out in the world functioning right? It was like I’m still I still feel like garbage every single day. How much worse can I possibly feel? Let’s at least see if this could potentially work for me. You know, and I mean, it was rough like the first six weeks I was just kind of like not all you know, just continuing to not function but then it was like I after maybe like six weeks I was like I kind of want to go to the pool. And that was like the thing where I was like, Oh, well, like I started to make connections like, because my brain has stopped working for a really long time. Yeah. And I was like, oh, like I feel like I want to go to the pool and the pool was like where I used to go to make all the stuff better. And like, I remember the first time I went, you know, I like went to the pool and jumped in the water and I was like, oh my god, like I may not be able to swim right now. I mean, I may only be able to swim for like 15 minutes right now but like, Oh, this is the feeling you know, like that. It immediately all came back, like being submerged in the water and like all these things and like, oh, you know, this is what I need to be doing. You know so it’s like, I just kept going back and kept going back and you slowly built you know, you built a few you know, it was like you build from like 15 to 30 minutes and then to an hour and then you’re doing you know, I really got back into it. And I got to the point where I was doing like 10 K’s in the pool. Oh, wow. And I never done a 10k Yeah, I mean, like I didn’t even know it was just, I knew that the feeling of the longer I swam, the better. I felt like the longer I was in the water right when I would exit the water that my day would be just like I’m in my mind just way more calm. Just interesting.

14:51
But that was self you figured that out all on your own? Yeah, nobody was like oh yeah, just keep swimming longer. No just kept pushing yourself.

15:00
No, I mean through the whole time that I was like depressed and on meds my dad kept saying go to the pool, but the pool you need to exercise you need everyone you know, says that. Yeah, those are people that don’t understand depression. You know, like, you can’t if I could get off the couch, you know, and I mean, I would do all these things, but I can’t physically do it. So then, yeah, it was like once I started going back, I was like, oh, okay, like, Yeah, I mean, and then yeah, when I did the 10 K’s I was like, wow, this is this feels really good, but like I don’t know I want to do more, but I don’t. i The Blackline thing is like destroying me. You know, I mean it Shay. It was 2015 Like, I have been living in California and Southern California since 2001. And Matthew, my husband and I we had gone to the beach sporadically but like I had never really gone into the water here. I mean, the water was like called Yeah, you know. When we when when we would go to the beach, it wasn’t like to go to the water. It was like to sit on the sand or maybe like have lunch or something like that. And I thought that like ocean if you want to swim in the ocean, you have to be like a triathlete. And there was nothing about me that wanted to get on a bike or I was like not I never been to lands for you know, like, yeah, I played softball, but like I’m not going to start running. I’m not going to start cycling. That’s not me. So like, I didn’t know for I wasn’t clued into marathon swimming. You know, I wasn’t even clued into ocean swimming. But

16:42
had you done any open water on the East Coast or anything before coming to California? Do you have like ever checked up the lakes? Or? I don’t know. Yeah, I

16:49
had Yes. I mean, like growing up in Connecticut. I went to like camps that were on lakes. And like ponds and stuff and like and I lifeguard out upon so I had swimming links and but it’s not like you’re getting in and swimming across the lake. You know, or the pond or whatever. You were like waterskiing or like just jumping in the water. Yeah, you know, it was never like putting your face in and swimming. But so anyway, when I started to get back into swimming, I just like I as much as I wanted to, like get into swimming I also wanted I knew I was very unhealthy from just being like mentally and physically from like being so sedentary for so long. And you know, I had mentioned that my mom passed away in 2005. She had ovarian cancer. She had also had breast cancer prior to that. But after she passed away like a couple years after I was tested for the bracket gene came back that I was back to positive. So I knew that for a couple years but like mentally and physically I was not in a place where I could do anything about it like I couldn’t go through surgeries. I wasn’t healthy enough to do that. Like I just so like once I got back in the water and got like semi healthy I felt like that was like that and I still wasn’t working I felt like that was the time to start tackling those procedures. And so I had a double mastectomy of prophylactic like preventative double mastectomy in 2016 in January. I mean people don’t understand. You know, and I don’t want to talk about this too much because I want to talk about the swimming but I mean, having the bracket gene basically increases your lifetime risk of breast cancer depending on which mutation you have. I was like got a 87 to 90% lifetime risk of breast cancer. Wow. And like my lifetime risk. of ovarian was like 70%. So I was just like, I need to I have my mom didn’t just get sick and die. She was sick for 15 years and like all the things that you see and that trauma. It really like I I knew that I needed to do something so I had a double mastectomy and in January 2016 And while I was recovering from that, like I had just gotten back in the water and so like all my conversations with doctors were like when can I get back in the water like this is my thing now now I have to come and be out but like I know I had I knew I had to take care of it and they’re like you’ll be back in the water like six to eight weeks. You know what I mean? It was four months. I had like a skin complication. I was out of the water for four months. I was like doing cardio lamb cardio, like I hate like crazy because it was the only thing that like I could do to keep me sane. And then I find I finally she you know my my plastic surgery was like four months you know, I can’t I went to a checkup. She was like okay, you can go you can go swim like you’re you go and then there is then only like a small window between that time and like the time that I had to have my neck surgery. Right? You’re and you’re just like, whatever. Just let me get back and I remember like jumping into the water that time too. And it was like, I felt like I was jumping into like my mother’s womb. Oh, I was like so it was like, oh my god, like I just want to be summer. She’s like, you can only swim for like 30 minutes. Like what you know, um, but just being back was like, oh, okay, and so then I you know that was probably like, April May and in June I had to have an exchange like a second exchange procedure where they take the expanders that were in my body and replace them with permanent implants. And after that recovery, that recovery was much quicker. I didn’t have complications and once I got back to the water, I was like, okay, like game on like I’m, you know what I mean? Like, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it was like, Yeah, July of 2016 and I got my injury, I was able to get my endurance back up and I started I like did some research online and I like found some people that were meeting at like the Manhattan Beach Pier to like, do a mile ocean swim or whatever.

21:29
And like, these people are triathletes, but like, I didn’t know anything about the triathlete community, then you know what I mean? I didn’t know anything about open water swimming. I didn’t know anything. So like, I show up to meet these people. And like the guy that I had contacted, you know, wasn’t even there. These people are standing on the pier, they look like they’re about to go swim, you know, they’re putting on wetsuits, and it’s September. It’s so it’s like the warmest it’s ever gonna be. Yeah, but I still didn’t know what the water temperature was or anything like that. Never Wet Suit or anything. So like, they’re like, oh, yeah, we’re gonna run down a mile and I stopped listening after they said, I was like, what? Like, I’m I can’t rock. I mean, like by time I get there. I don’t know. So we walk down to the sand, they start running, I started running, you know what I mean? I’m literally thinking I’m gonna have go into cardiac arrest on this one mile run down the beach, you know? But like, I finally get there and there none of them are anywhere. To be found. There was no they’re all gone into the water. Oh, me like, here’s what you do. This is how you get in. I had didn’t know anything about going under waves. Wow. You know what I mean? Like any of it, and I mean, I don’t know what the water temperature was it was probably mid to high 60s but for me that was like a big profit system. You know what I mean? I’m like, trying to get in and navigate this myself and like I’m hyperventilate, you know, by time I get past a surf break like my, you know, my whole body is like searing with lactic acid. You know what I mean? I’m like, what is happening? You know, I’m looking at the Manhattan Beach Pier. It’s a mile away. I’m like I can I’ve swam six miles like I can make it there. You know, and I didn’t really have like fear about like putting my face in the water and swimming it was more like you know, dealing with getting under the waves and like acclimating to the temperature. I wasn’t, I didn’t feel weird about putting my facial in, and swimming. Mm hmm. So like, I put my face in and I swam to the pier and like, I routed the pier and I got out of the water and it was literally like one of those moments you see in the movies where you’re like, I made you know what I mean? Like I’m alive.

23:48
Um, and no, have you joined the wetsuit thing or you just went in?

23:52
Oh, no, I didn’t have like a wetsuit and I didn’t know what I was gonna be doing in the future. If this is something I was gonna like. Or not like, I’m just going in in my bathing suit. Yeah. I mean, in a cap and goggles, you know what I mean? But like, these people were gone like they didn’t. And I realized at that moment that these tried this group of triathletes left me to die in the ocean. And like, I at that moment, decided, like, I didn’t like triathletes. And I didn’t want to be one. Jet to Manhattan Beach period. I’m walking up the beach like and I probably had just like a look of like trauma or bewilderment. On my face. And this guy is walking down the beach. And he’s like, are you okay? You know, I mean, I’m like yeah, I just like you know, spam this for the first time. These people left me like, I don’t know what what’s going on. And he’s like, his sky. Turns out, he’s from Scotland. His name is Johnny. He’s this big. I mean, I’m like, five, two, he’s like, six, five. You know what I mean? He’s like, Well comes from a loss next week. We’re much nicer. Who are you? You know, hey, yeah. And he was like, oh, there’s this group of people. And we swim, you know, every Sunday or whatever. And we’ve been doing it for however long and I came back the next week and met these people and they became like, my family.

25:21
Oh, my gosh, that’s wonderful.

25:23
So I mean, most of them were wetsuits, because most of them are. Yeah, oh, there’s, they’re smart in the head. Yeah. But this guy, Johnny, he didn’t wear a wetsuit. And this group was coming. Oh, you know, like, there’s this woman named shoe. She’s not here today, but she’s from England and she’s attempted the English Channel A couple times. And I’m like, what, what are you even talking about? Like, what even is this? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. So I mean, I knew what triathlon was but like, when someone said to me that someone like attempted to English I don’t know, I just started

26:04
not compute.

26:06
Losing. Yeah, I mean, I, I guess I started buying like books and reading, you know what I mean, and educating myself about this sport called marathon swimming. I was like, Oh, I this sounds like Yeah. This sounds way more like me, not not triathlon coach. Yeah, I’m just gonna injure myself. Right. You know, I mean, yeah, um, so, yeah, I guess I just kept going back week after week and like meeting these people, and at first it was like, super uncomfortable. Because it was like, the first time that I was sort of re acclimating myself into a social environment after so long. Yeah. And I was like, reflecting on this the other day and how important these people have become to me and I think that that’s part part part of the reason why is that they immediately accepted me no matter like, what I look like how, how on educated, I was about open water, whatever the fact, you know, it was just like, you know, yeah, I was just accepted. So that that was September of 2016. And, you know, I swam a mile in the ocean that day and, you know, several times probably, you know, between then and December, and in December, this group has a thing where they do peer to peer this one from her most appeared in Manhattan. Beach Pier, which is the peer to peer swim. That is like a race in the summer. They do it in December. And I’m fine. It’s two miles. And I’m like, showing up at the beach in my bathing suit, the waters freezing. It’s like legitimately high 50s Then, and I’m like, I’m not gonna I don’t know what’s going to happen right now. But I’m going to try to do this, you know, and I’m faster than all these people. You know what I mean? Like so I can swim faster than all these people, but like, I was not acclimated to the temperature, the distance or anything like that. But I ended up finishing the you know, the two miles and I remember getting out of the water and like my husband was I like I was so we I like cried in his I was like I can’t believe I swam two miles and ocean 59 I don’t even know. Yeah, it was cold. Maybe it was even 60 or 61. But to me it felt cold. Um, but it was like, it was such a huge deal for me to swim two miles you know? And then like, yeah, so I tried to swim through that winter, you know, and I did, like in my bathing shoe, I’d never bought a wet shoe. Like there were days or I’d show up and it’d be like sci fi and some foot waves. You know, I there’s only one time that I ever remember going in and coming out and like not getting past the break and I mean, I have never many like life flashing before your eyes moments where the you know, the water like I can deal with big surf in the summer, no problem, but when the water is that cold, it’s like on another level. Because it’s you know, like you’re hyperventilating from the temperature. There’s foot wave, you’re trying to go under, you’re coming up. There’s another one. There’s another one by time you got out past the break. You’re just exhausted. You know, it was like that was like those are real gut check moments and me learning like kind of what I needed to do to become better. You know,

29:47
this is a daily occurrence or weekly, or

29:49
I would say weekly at this point. I was going or maybe like twice a week sometimes. And like the next year in 2017. I was kind of like, well, I want to do a 10k I want to do an elbow water 10k. And so like I went down to a bay to Alamitos Bay in Long Beach, which is like not exposed ocean so you’re not dealing with a surf break. And I had my friend paddle like she put paddles on a stand up paddleboard, but she hasn’t paddle an open ocean by my pool, you paddle free for 10k So I swam like three and a half miles, you know, or six, sorry, six and a half miles Yeah. 6.25 But I did a little more and I made it you know, it was good. And then i i A couple months later did a 10k open ocean, right? And I was super uneducated and like, how, like I need feeds you know and like so I had a buoy filled it up, you know, with full bottles and I am like carrying a 10 pound weight behind. I’m dragging it the whole way. My first and I was like, I mean I’m all about safety, but I’ve never used the buoy again. Like that traumatic but I did that swim and we swam from like to Moscow to Venice pier or something like that. And I was exhausted after I remember like trying to walk around Venice and being just like, I’m exhausted. You know what I mean? And then I asked someone in that group like, do you think I can swim 10 miles? And they’re like, Yeah, and so like, I talked to my friend that was in my Manhattan Beach group, but like, I he had a kayak. I was like, Hey, do you want to try paddling for me for 10 miles? And I mean, so I’m gonna jump from six and a half to 10 and I didn’t know that that was like a bad idea. You know? Um, and yeah, we we did that. We went out and did that. And it took me like, six hours and 20 minutes, you know, and the last four miles it was like a complete disaster. I was like swimming 10 strokes and stopping you know what I mean? My shoulder hurt like everything was falling apart. I didn’t know what I was doing for feeds like, I was eating like sport beans or, I mean, like, I don’t even know. And it was a disaster, you know, but it taught me like what I needed. what each thing I did taught me what I needed to do to get better out

32:28
Yeah. Are there people in your little pod that were swimming these kinds of distances or were you going no, no. Okay. There were

32:38
10 came with was like a different group of someone referred me to this group because oh, they do longer swims and um, I barely knew those guys. But But why Manhattan Beach group? No, they were like 112 mile like, You’re crazy. What are you doing? And Danny, this guy from this group, he was the guy that I asked to kayak and you know, we went out and we did this thing and it was a complete disaster, but I completed it and I was like, okay, so if I want to do out of copper next year, I need to learn how to breathe bilaterally. I thought the reason why my shoulder hurt really bad was because I was only breathing to one side and you know, like, I was like obviously I need to dial in my feeds like what am I doing? You know, and like I just you know, um,

33:24
and the idea to do Anacapa Well, Sylvia

33:27
had been a like stalking me on social media apparently and reached out to me it was like, you know, Anacapa was a great like stepping stone for Catalina. And I was like, What are you talking? Like, what? So? Yeah, she put it in my head and I was like, alright, you know what I mean? Like, like, let’s, yeah, so I booked a date for Anacapa for 2018. And I over the winter taught myself how to bilateral I mean, I have been breathing to my left for 40 years, 39 years, or whatever it was. So I taught myself how to brought bilateral breathe and I started testing like these liquid feeds that people were talking about and all these things and I didn’t have a I hadn’t yet at this point transitioned into swim coaching myself. I didn’t have a coach. I was just like, this is kind of what I need to do. In order to do this swim. I need to do like 210 mile swims. We went out that year, Danny and I we repeated the route that we did. I took like 90 minutes off the time. I was like that and I swam the whole thing like I wasn’t, you know, it was not a problem just won the 10 miles and Danny was like, wow, you know, like you you’ve really like improved you know? So yeah, I I did advocate I, Brian and Sylvia I don’t think that they had ever piloted an Anacapa before I think maybe they tried to like have Brian pilot Silvia swimming. I don’t really know what what, but they were maybe trying to get into piloting that channel. Um, but after my swim there No, the my day was like we pulled out of the harbor and it was like a wall of water comes into the boat. There was like a five foot swell. It was dark. I’m sitting in the boat what I mean it took us like three hours to get to the island. I don’t even know. Miles, it’s 12 bucks. You know what I mean? The boat is flying up off the sea of waters but I mean, I was just like, I didn’t understand what was happening. first official marathon swim, and I had known like, I knew I knew enough to know like, the day that you book is your day. And like unless the pilots or the safe the association or whoever’s running things are going to call it off like that’s your day. And if you you you say that you’re not going to go then you’re out all that money. And I was just like, there were so many thoughts in my head on the ride out to the island. I was just like, I can’t What I don’t even know what this is right now.

36:28
Why did I think this was a good idea? Yeah, what

36:30
did I get myself into? Um, but yeah, ultimately we got their jumped in the water, you know, took me a little longer than would have liked but like I knew from the swell, I mean, there were waves. There were breaking waves in the middle of the check. You know, I have waves like pictures of waves like breaking with cheana in the background. I mean, you’re four miles from shore. Wow. So it was just like that the whole time. And like, you know, Sylvia, being Sylvia, it’s like, every time like you’re gonna stop and complain, she’s gonna be like, What do you want to do? Stop and I’m just like, she knows my personality even then was like I’m not stopping. I’m not stopping until someone pulls me out of the water because I’m not breathing. So um, yeah, I mean, I made it. It was gnarly. Like, I don’t even know the feeds on that, like my bottle. I would hold it up here. There seawater splashing into it. You know what I mean? Like when I would get a solid I would be like bobbing up and down by the boat to have Sylvia. Toss it into my mouth. You know, I mean, there’s just like, I there’s a Small craft advisory and 15 knot winds and their swim took me like seven hours. 19 minutes. And I was like, I was just stoked that I finished. Yeah. Oh

37:51
my goodness, what a huge boost of confidence.

37:55
When being my first official swim gave me a ton of confidence because it was like, if I can do that in those conditions, yeah, whatever. So how

38:04
did you so Okay, so do you think that your kind of stubbornness played more into your finishing or more like your crew style? You know, you referred to Sylvia being like Sylvia, but you know, like, Do you Do you think that or was it just the interplay between the two but both?

38:20
I mean, but I think like me not knowing me, like I had gone into it. And I told my whole crew like, you know, I’m not getting out of the water until, you know, I’m dead or like I reached the other side. That was how I kind of approached everything. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like and people Yeah, like, oh, like even though Silvia didn’t know me that well, that point, um, and even like, my husband was on the boat. Danny was on the boat. Sri Edward was on the boat. She was my observer. These people didn’t know me all that well, except for my husband. At the time. You know what I mean? But it was just that kind of attitude that I had about the whole thing going into it like I’m just gonna do this and also all Let’s go, You know what I mean? I didn’t come out here to quit. Like what? You know what I mean? And I because I had at that time, I decided I wanted to do the California triple crown. I wanted to do it for my mom. And when I want, when I’m all I always want, I’m struggling out there. I just think of people struggling more than me. There’s always someone that the swim is dedicated to whether it’s my mom or my friends or whatever with cancer. I’m usually doing I’m always doing a fundraiser for her hereditary cancer organization that I spent a lot of time volunteering for. So I mean, yeah, just thinking about those things just get through like what I’m dealing with right now. There’s nothing in comparison to you know, yeah. So gone through that swim and like literally a month later signed up for Catalina and was like, Danny, uh, am I crazy? You know what I mean? Like my pet. I’m like, I need you to paddle for me and Am I crazy? And it’s like, yeah, yeah, you’re crazy. But like, let’s go, you know, that’s, um, that’s a good friend. Yeah. And then, you know, like, I got, you know, I some, I think Amber Baker introduced me to Janssen Menolly and he came on board for my Catalina swim. He didn’t end up paddling it because he had a conflict and Barb Schumacher paddled it but like, yeah, I got I prepared to do Catalina the next year, you know, and 2019 2019 Okay. And you know, like, I had ideas in my head about what I wanted to do for training like I wanted to do back to back six hours swims like I wanted to do, you know,

40:56
ideas for what to do for training.

40:59
My friends. Sue, who had attempted the English Channel told me about doing back to back, six hour swims that sounds like a really good idea because it was like, Oh, you’re kind of like simulating the whole swim within a 24 hour period or that 30 hour period. And so that seemed like a really good idea. So we went out to Catalina to do the swims along the island and the water was free. It was the end of June. And the water was like low 60s. And that was like kind of my first like, battle through you know, really cold training. Um, but it was fun. I was having fun with it. Like my friends were with me that you know, we were we set it up that it was just really fun. Like, you know, I had my husband and two other friends who were doing to our you know, paddle. You know, they were each paddling with me for two hours. It was just fun and like, I did like a 15 mile and a 60 mile training swim like I was never like I was my training was dialed in. Yeah. Like people would be like, you’re overtraining. Like, you’re doing too much. And I’m like, Cool. I’m, I’m just doing my own thing. I’m teaching myself and we’ll see if I complete the swim. And then you could tell me that I’m overtraining. Yeah. You know, because I need this for my mental confidence. Yeah, yeah, it’s all fine as long as my body is not broken down when I go into it, like I feel like I’m fine. I will always giving myself like three weeks to taper from and Catalina I you know that was my first time like swimming through the night

42:44
to do any night swimming leading up to it to prepare

42:49
Hmm No, I just did getting in the in the water. In the dark in the morning and swimming into Yeah, yeah. Um, and I would be like with Danny in these situations, and he would be like, oh, yeah, zero shark 30 Or, oh, yeah, you’re swimming over like 30,000 feet of water right now or Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And I’m like, what? You are Oh, it’s so windy right now. Are you sure you want to go out and do this? It’s not too late to go to a pool, you know? And I’m like, um, yeah, so I put myself in situations where like, I did gnarly training swims, I did, you know, things that prepared me and I had Catalina deliver me pristine conditions. I just think because Anacapa was a complete shit show. So yeah, Catalina great conditions, but like the last you know, when the sun came up, it was like I could see and the cliffs look right there, but they weren’t right there. And they look right there for like five hours. And I was just losing my mind like scrolling on. I mean, like, I was, you know, yelling at my crew yelling everyone on the boat, like how far is left? You need to tell me the truth. Like I just felt like no one was telling me the truth. You know what I mean? Like, I just it just wasn’t getting closer, wasn’t getting closer, but it was like my first experience with that. Like everyone says, don’t look at it, you know, don’t you know? How do you not look at it? What do you say? So I was mentally, like, destroyed for the last few hours, but like I finished, you know, I think I was like 1247 And I remember when I finished that it wasn’t so much that I was so physically exhausted. It was just like, I was mentally like, why is that there for so long? And it’s just taking me so long to get there. Right. I just think I hit kind of like a current. Yeah, and I just took me longer, you know, to finish. Um, but I was like, I don’t really want to fall apart like that mentally at the end of swims. Like, I don’t want to be screaming at the boat or my crew and everyone’s laughing because like, I’m swearing and they think it’s funny, but like, it’s not funny to me. Yeah. So yeah, like going into the next year, which was 2020 I was like, Yeah, I really want Tahoe to be different in the sense where like, I don’t lose my mind at the end. Right. And I feel like I’ve really improved upon that.

45:31
How did you ask train for that aspect?

45:35
I don’t know. I just, I just experience Yeah, it was like doing more and more swims, you know, like I mean, I did the width of Tahoe the year I did Catalina to prepare for the length. I but it was just mentally, like knowing that you don’t want to get that way. Like if you’re not breaking down physically, like there’s no reason to break down mentally. Like you’re and maybe listen to people and don’t, don’t look at it right what I mean. So like Tahoe and my 2020 was crazy because like no one knew if anything was gonna happen and it was like I was my last swim in the California triple crown and I really wanted to get it done because I knew that like taking an edge to 21 like more people were going to be added to that. list. So under 20 and I wanted to get out under 20. And like, I was just like, I don’t know if it’s gonna happen by minute. I’m just gonna train through the pandemic and I did. I mean, like I up until 2021. I done like 95% of my training alone. And I’m not advocating that other people do that. But I did that. Um, and yeah, I think that just like during, yeah, like during Tahoe at the beginning, like the length of Tahoe. Like Brett, Brian and Sylvia there. Were standing on the dock and they’re telling me oh, yeah, at the beginning this is gonna happen. I didn’t even I couldn’t I wasn’t even listening. I’m in my mind. You know what I mean? So when that beginning part of like crazy choppiness and current or whatever they were talking about what’s happening? I started losing my mind. And this was like an hour in what the what is happening? And what then I was like, checked it and was like, Okay, this is now going to end this is over now and like you’re going to go back to and I was I felt like Tahoe was a huge improvement upon Catalina in terms of like, not losing my mind not screaming at people. Like people like when it was over being like you didn’t even swear that much like Are you very good. Like what? You know what I mean? But that, that was I didn’t look like every time I fed. I looked behind me. You know what I mean? I just Yeah, I had I had learned a little bit. I never asked how far we have left. And it was just like all of a sudden, this is your last feed and okay, this is and that’s like a way better. That was like a way better approach to everything. Like it didn’t. It didn’t use a lot of energy.

48:29
Yeah, when you’re outdoors yelling at people Yeah, yeah. 100% Well, I’m what was what did you have any like this shift from the salt to the lake? I don’t know something.

48:44
That was a disaster. Freshwater is a disaster. Like when I swam the width. I was like, I don’t understand why I feel like I’m drowning. Everything hurts like three miles in. I looked at pictures of myself like I didn’t I did the with tandem with a friend with Jessica wood. And she’s like, why was your body like out of the water the whole time? And I’m like, What are you talking about? I’m looking at photos like my body positions all messed up like really hot like it was like I was trying to compensate for like drowning. Yeah, water. But doing the width, I was like, oh, like, I really need to fix a lot of things if I’m going to do the way you know, and I don’t know what those things are. And I’m definitely not gonna do a lot of swimming in freshwater. You know, but I’m gonna try in I don’t know fix my head because I don’t know like, I have things that I wanted to do. Like I felt like my head was too high like and that was maybe making my shoulder hurt too early. So I just tried to like be have a more neutral body position. Yeah, I don’t I don’t know. I mean, I was there was pretty much I also had COVID Like a month, a month before my Tahoe Lake and I had it really bad like I had it. I had like a GI like I threw up for 10 days. Oh my goodness. I had no like when I got back into the ocean. I made my husband come with me and walk the beach. So I didn’t like die. And I could only swim for like 20 minutes. Oh my god. I was like, how am I going to swim 20 miles and like three and a half weeks? Yeah. But again, it goes back to like all these other things that I’ve watched people in my life deal with my mom you know, my friend Scott was sick with cancer at the time and I was just like what I’m dealing whatever I’m gonna deal with in the waters nothing compared to any of this. So like, just get through it you it’s fine. So yeah, I did Tahoe and it was about 13 hours and I was when I finished it. I felt like that was the hardest thing that I had ever done like my my arms felt so much different than after Catalina I don’t know the altitude of the freshwater but like, I couldn’t even like rest on my arm. He I mean, like, I was like, oh, and it wasn’t like shoulder pain. It was like, oh, that’s just all over muscle

51:08
use. My Yeah, my shoulders are tired from being used.

51:12
Yeah. Um, but like, you know, I immediately I got home from Tahoe. I immediately was like, you know, I kind of want to do something else. I reached out to New York open water. I was like, can I do 20 bridges? Do you have a slot for me? You know, and I knew that in normal years, it would be hard to do 20 bridges. And they’re like, yeah, here you go. October 1. Let’s go. All right, you know, and then I was like, check, can I do this? Like, I just did this. Can I do that? You know, I knew I knew it was 28 and a half miles but I also knew that everyone said that it’s not it’s not really like you know, because you get the current assist. So I just signed up for it and was like, Okay, I’m gonna do this. This is in 2020. Yeah. Okay, like I did Tahoe August 11. I ended up my date for 20 Bridges was August. I mean, October 1. Wow. So yeah. I just went straight into like, training for that. And then, um, and I also booked Coronado into Coronado on October 15.

52:21
Back Yeah, and I will, about Manhattan, I bet. Yeah.

52:26
Tell me about Manhattan was epic because I was born in New York City. And I really wanted to do that swim for like, my mom and my dad and my grandparents. And,

52:37
um,

52:39
oh, yeah, it was fun. It was like cleaner than I thought it was super fun. The views are epic. Everything’s beautiful. Like at the end I definitely got tired. I think my body was just tired. Like, it was just like, when are we going to be done? I’m tired. Yeah, you know, um, but also, I had started to have issues with my stomach during Tahoe with feeds and I those issues were continuing, and they continued through Manhattan. Oh, no, not Oh, um, but you know, I finished I was fine. Everything was fine. You know,

53:14
um, why didn’t you? Oh, you’re right. Where do you think you wanted to do Coronado right after Manhattan.

53:22
Well, I wanted to do Coronado because it wasn’t, I think I had it booked before. Coronado was a place that I’ve been with my mom when I was young. And my grandparents had also had a place there. So like, all the swims I do are emotionally significant for whatever reason, and I just really wanted to do that swimming because Dan, Dan, and I had danced him and Ellie and I have become just better friends over the years and because he wasn’t able to do my Catalina it was like, this is the swim that we get to do together and just going to be me and down and there’s not going to be a boat. It’s just me and down out of the water and I just really wanted to do that, you know, and I knew that like, whatever. 11 miles after just doing whatever I just did is like not an issue. You know, that those are the things that you learn to over the years. Like, if you could turn 28 Miles like, you know you do 10 miles on like a Tuesday an average Tuesday. It’s fine, you know? Um, so yeah, knock those out. And yeah, it had sort of been in my head that I wanted to do Santa Monica. I wanted to do the entire width of Santa Monica Bay. Oh, wow. For a couple years, like Amy Gubser had told me about it, like right after she did it and I was like, that’s like a thing. Like what? Like, really? And I just want so much of the coastline because I live here. And so like from Malibu to PV, I haven’t swarmed every part of the coastline, but I had swum a lot of it. And I just really wanted to do that swim and like after she told me about it, which was probably maybe in like 2017 2018 Maybe 2018 Because I think I just finished Catalina or No, I guess I was 2019 I don’t know I, I I like went home and like, looked it up and saw that. Like, at the time, she was like the first the she was the third person to do it. I was like, only three people have done this. This is cool. You know, like, this is my home water, you know, and I saw that the first few people that had done it were Forrest Nelson. And who is head of the county and channel swim Federation and Jen Schumacher and Jen his daughter Barb, who was my peddler on Catalina and like, all these signs were like, Yeah, you know, and Amy was like, I’m like me, I can’t swim 27 Miles she’s like, you can totally swim 27 miles and I’ll crew for you. And it’s fine and whatever. And for like two years, you know, however long I had this in my head and so like, yeah, when I finished Tahoe, I booked a boat for the swim and but I knew it was gonna be like the most challenging thing that I had ever done, or I thought it would be um I don’t know if it was Now people ask me that. Um, I don’t know which one they’re all different. Like, this ones are different. That’s how I feel. Yeah, but I was definitely scared of this one. I was scared of 27 True miles, not 28.5 and the rivers around the hand. And I trained a lot like I did back to back six hours. I did 6464 I did so many back to back swims. I did. A seven hour I did a nine hour the nine hour was the longest that I’ve ever been in the water for a non official sweat. Wow. Like I was like, I’m just gonna do everything I can possibly do to you know, yeah, totally another 10k But like, I thought that 10k would destroy me at the end. You know? We get up we you know, it’s the day whatever, September 21 to 22 of this year. You know, we get on the boat, everything looks pretty calm and whatever. And then you start getting up to Malibu and it’s like, you know, the waters just animated and it’s moving and there’s like a five foot swell and it’s very windy. Like the videos of the start like all you can hear is like when you know and um you know, I’m just like, what did I get myself into? You know what I mean? Like rightful like there ever

57:51
been this man but you started that you’re that you didn’t think that I feel like I’ve always asked myself that right before I get into water.

57:57
Like I was like, we need to turn the boat around. Like, um, I don’t know what I was thinking but I was wrong. You know, but I think having Amy there. Like I had assembled for this swim the most the best, most experienced crew that I ever had. I mean, I had Dan seminary, I had BB I had Danny, you know, my kayak or I had Amy guvs Or I have John York I had, you know what I mean? Like I had the most experienced crew and I was on Pacific star and those guys are amazing. And they had piloted the swim. Um, once before, two people did it between Amy at the time that I did it. Um, Abby Bergman, who I spoke to a lot about it and this guy Zach, who was friends with Amy. He like blazed it out in June and like 12 hours and 30 Something like that. And I just remember being like, how did he even like 12 Like that was faster than my Catalina

59:03
seven miles.

59:05
So I’m like after he did it I was like if this this is gonna legit take me 20 hours like it’s gonna so in my mind I told myself 20 hours and it Yeah, I mean it There ended up being a huge swell and from like an hour in the water. I was vomiting vomited the whole time. Couldn’t keep anything down. I mean, Amy finally figured out like a concoction for me of like hot tea with honey and electrolytes that I was able to keep out. Did that 15 hour it ended up I was 1458 did the whole thing on hot electrolyte. Wow. That’s that’s a good concoction. Yeah, and realize that like probably I need to move away from traditional feeds. That they’re just not my thing. Um, so yeah, that that was, I mean, I think easily Santa Monica Bay was probably the most epic swim that I’ve done. I dedicated that swim to Sadam seven le and my friend Scott and my friend Scott ended up passing away a couple weeks ago. Um, so you know, it’s been a challenging time. It’s my my father in law passed away like five days after the swim so there’s never really you know, when you like train for something for so long and you really want to ride that high. There was never like kind of that high. But yeah, it’s so epic that I did it and the fact that I’m the sixth person to ever swim that to ever do that swim is awesome. You know, I love being able to to know that and say that because this is my home water. I love it here so much, you know? Cool. But but now I know why only six people have done that’s why I’m it’s It’s no joke and the beginning and the end are not like other swims. They’re not like Catalina or Tahoe, they’re just gnarly. Like you having to navigate. You know, us, you know, Amy swam into those start with me and I mean, it’s just waves you know, and just moving water and rocks everywhere and wow, I didn’t get injured at the at the start, which was great. But the end it was just like you’re getting slammed in two jagged rocks repeatedly by waves. And I was just like bleeding everywhere. There’s like no real place to clear the water. The finish is called Rocky Point. So now I know why it’s called Rocky Point. Like there’s literally pieces of myself and my crew left on those rocks.

1:02:00
Oh, geez. What an accomplishment. Yeah, super. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Carly. Yeah, I’m so sorry that you weren’t that you haven’t been able to really bask in that accomplishment. Sorry for your losses.

1:02:20
Thank you. I appreciate that. But yeah, I mean, I think that I will continue to do swims that are emotionally significant to me for whatever reason and swim for people that are meaningful to me for whatever reason, and I don’t used to ask a lot like, Are you a process versus outcome? person? I haven’t heard you ask that while but I think that I’m very process driven like, because if I didn’t enjoy being out there every day, or or if I didn’t need to do it to maintain my mental health and sanity? Like, you know that that’s a big part of like, why I’m out there why I’m doing it makes me feel good. You know, so the outcome is the outcome, whatever the outcome is, but my life will always be like, living to swim. So you know, why not try and achieve some cool goals along the way? Yeah, yeah. And I don’t know what’s next people keep asking me.

1:03:36
I won’t ask for like, let

1:03:39
a person let her. Yeah, I mean, I think I need a year. I’ve been like this ever since I got into it just like consecutively year after year of doing. I want I don’t I’m not saying I want to take a year. off because that would be bad for me. Um, but I think I want to take a year to do like, more mid distance like fun swims that aren’t going to put a ton of pressure on them. Now, what would you say that you’ve learned about yourself from Marathon swimming. I think I’ve learned I’m way stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for that even though I may be experiencing certain things in my mind, the fact that I keep going on and just like my my perseverance, you know what I mean? Like that. Being able to like that. I don’t know if I bounce back crate you know, from things like death but like I still get up the next day and like go to the water and go to the pool and you know, just try and do what what what I need to do. So I guess yeah, I’ve just learned that I’m stronger than I ever thought that I’d never thought that I could do you know, that I could swim 20 miles or 27 miles or any of that but I think that like, you know, each time you complete one of these things, that it’s like, oh, I can do that. And maybe I can even do more. And do I want to do more and if I do want to do more, like I probably can, you know? So I think I think like because I’ve always struggled with mental illness like i The it’s really been a swimming that has taught me because I’ve always I think I’ve always been insecure about that. Like how strong are you really well, in order to get through everything I’ve gone through I guess I am really strong. And I think in the swims, I go back to I think about the people that are suffering more than me or that have. But I also think about the fact that if I could get through so much suffering on land that I’ve been through that like getting through this swim is really just not a big deal like that. That emotional and mental. Suffering is so much greater than you know anything physical that you’re feeling in the water at that time, and most likely it’s gonna change your paths like you’re gonna feel differently in 30 minutes, you know,

1:06:20
right? Yeah. That’s beautiful. You’re amazing. Vessel of strength, Carly. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you I hope you enjoyed this episode. Have you heard of the intrepid water accountability group will support and encourage each other on a private chat platform, pursue monthly challenges both in the water and on land and meet virtually once a month to dive deep on a topic. If you’d like to join a group of like minded limit pushers from around the globe, join the intrepid water accountability group. Find out more at intrepid water.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai